No money, and a long way from major bus routes?
There is no longer any need for you to miss out on the festival experience. Do as I did during the recent Glastonbury Festival, and follow my step by step guide to festival bliss :
- Pitch a tent in your living room in front of the telly, there are several stages available to view on the BBC if you have a satellite dish and the 'red button ' facility. ( no not the one that unleashes Armageddeon Time.. ) if you feel you're too close to the action, try looking the wrong way through some binoculars.
- To add to the ambience, don't empty your lavatory all day, and when you do- try using a hoover instead of flushing.
- Don't leave the car outside the house, park it several miles away, preferably across some fields.
- Lose your money/insulin/ ventolin inhaler, the panic and oxygen starved highs that can be achieved far out stretch any illegal drug 'trip'.
- The lack of mud indoors can be a drawback, but a few hours heavy gardening between transmissions can soon restore the organic feel to your clothes , hair and general attire.
- Eat badly and drink too much.
By the way I thought Elbow were on top form. Good to see 'friends' of my blog ( ha, ha ) The Ting Tings celebrating their meteoric rise on the John Peel Stage.